The LIVING Saga of Garvin Smith – are you dying to read it? PART 4 by Garvin Smith

Today was a “bad” day. Overall I feel pretty good and have for some time. But in the afternoon I bumped into the director of the nursing program. We talked, and my situation was discussed. She mentioned that she noticed that I didn’t look too good, but didn’t want to say anything. She said my coloring was poor. I said, “What, like someone who is dying?” She responded in the affirmative. (Everybody else says how much better I look than I did a few weeks ago. But we put more weight on the opinions of those in the medical field.) So I have been struggling with my attitude today, trying to stay positive.
Tonight was especially difficult, with Debbie in Provo with Angel and their new baby. I longed for her to be by my side and to comfort me. I felt alone. But almost immediately my self pity turned to sorrow as I thought about our Savior and his loneliness in working out the great and Eternal atonement. While in the Garden He was strengthened by an angel while all of His earthly friends slept. But when He hung on the cross, alone, and according to Elder McConkie, “all the pains and sorrow of Gethsemane returned”, He was alone, so alone. I wept for Him, and my bowels swelled with compassion, for Him, who suffered so much. And I was reminded that he suffered exactly what Garvin is suffering (not just what any large B-Cell lymphoma patient suffers, but what I particularly am suffering) so that He is able to succor me in my time of need. I testify this is true. What love! What mercy! What charity! The great condescension of God! (1Ne. 11: 16, 26; 2Ne. 4:26; 9:53; Jacob 4:7)
But then I thought of Darrell Pierce, who is alone every night with no one to comfort him in his battle with cancer, and I wished I had been more compassionate and charitable when I had the opportunity to be so. I’m sorry Darrell.
Now maybe I can get some sleep.


To be continued . . .